Drinking diaries: I need it to quiet the crazy

drinking diaries: I need it to quiet the crazy. I need something that shuts my mind off…….you hear me, i highly function and produce, i work a lot and what I do is important and very stressful so I just drink when i get home to shut that shit down. get a break from it, ya know, that’s normal. it is the only way. this was me. is this you? hear this. Drinking alcohol to calm the nerves/stress/mind is like bending (with your bare hands) the water hose to stop the water from moving through. this may slow and pause the water flow TEMPORARILY but when it returns its harsh and intense, (more then before). So, you tried to shut the water off “not” from the faucet………. I will get to that in a minute……. Ok, morning comes and you WAKE UP… hose is released, you put your shoulder pads on, crouch down, look at your opponent (the day ahead) and you tackle. and persevere. you literally attack your schedule, you go hard (which is needed) and you get to the end…… holy hell batman! I know what you are thinking now…. ” I MADE it!” I made it through this marathon day and i DESERVE a real strong one (many) for all my accomplishments.

and the cycle continues

So, this beverage is full of empty calories.

The more drinks consumed the more the calories add up- (that was a huge dah, sorry). and around 4 or 5 or, even 6a.m the pool of empty calories collected the night before can feels like hot lava oozing from the inside out to the skin, sleep is compromised and you now are up.

Your sleep was not great. (trust me)

Your brain is not as alert

Your seriously not firing on all cylinders (trust me). But….You are fine. you are good even, maybe you are used to this. you don’t mind, you think it is worth it. and that might be true. But what i want to share is that once i took the “Finish line beverages” out of the equation The day was easier. the week was easier. It was amazingly easy to take on the schedule (and since quitting drinking i have twice the schedule i had because i can do 50% more….. easy).

A day post any drinking is (for me) “less” easy. it could be a hassle, it could be a fucking struggle, it could be fine, just not as smooth as they are now. Now i don’t ever wake up with “ugh” and try to TAKE on the day. Me and the day, we just dance. we do a lot, but it feels like dancing. The only reason I tell you this is to debunk the “i need this to shut off the crazy” to “quiet my overactive mind”. Shut the water off at the faucet, it’s more sustainable. For more info about shutting the water off at the faucet tune in tomorrow. I got a closet to organize. love to all of you…. please know all i want it peace within. within you and me. that is my only goal here.

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